We humans are emotional beings and often tend to react to various situations. Reaction may or may not be in favor of what we intend to achieve. Thus it is important to take a pause from the situation we are in before we react. Situations we face each day are dynamic and requires new way of thinking. Even if we have faced similar situations earlier, the same type of reaction may not work every time. Thus it is important to take a pause, even if the situation is familiar to us.
On a day to day basis, we may face multiple situation such as:
- Disagreement with colleagues
- Client reaction to emails
- Unexpected requests from management hindering your current work, etc.
These are not new situations and we might have seen them every day. While these are negative scenarios, we can turn them into positive opportunities in most cases, if we do not react. While reacting to such situations, our rational mind takes a back seat and emotions take over. That’s why often we might have realized that we ‘over-reacted’ to the situation. This leads to regretting our reaction and escalating the situation further rather than resolving it.
Thus when we face such situation, we need to keep three things in mind – Pause, Reflect and Respond.
1. Pause: The first step when we face difficult situation in our life is to hit the pause button in our head. We need to override the emotional wave and give back control to our mind to think carefully. We can do this by:
a) Setting aside the situation for couple of minutes and not thinking about it.
b) Start working on another task (if the situation is not urgent) and get back to the situation once your emotions settle down.
c) If the situation is urgent, take 10 deep breaths to gain control of your thinking. Focus only on breathing for 30-40 seconds.
2. Reflect: Once we are able to think rationally, it is time to face the situation. Now that emotions have taken a back seat, we would be better equipped to respond properly.
a) Try to think what triggered the situation. Was it a misunderstanding? Was it due to a mistake from the team? Was it because of real urgency from the opposite party? etc. Once we understand the reason for the situation, we would be able to clearly jot down (using a pen and paper) possible responses to the situation. While
b) There can be multiple possible responses to the situation. We may chose to agree to what the situation asks, disagree to it or meet at a middle ground. Depending on the feasibility, one possible response should be decided. There is a possibility that we may need additional information to decide on the approach to be taken, that’s when we need to respond with additional information required and follow the PRR cycle.
3. Respond: On the basis of evaluation of the situation and elimination of responses, the next step is to respond to the situation. They key thing to understand here is that response can require you to adopt multiple mediums of communication. For example, while responding to an escalation email, it is recommended to talk to the opposite party, understand their point of view, come to an agreement with them and then respond back in the form of email. This helps in avoiding communication gap and responding appropriately to the situation. The response must be clear, concise and effective to ensure that the situation is resolved without further escalations.
These three steps have been incredibly helpful in tackling various difficult situations I have faced in my life. It is crucial to understand that reacting to a situation is different from responding to a situation. While I’m not hundred percent sure that this cycle would work all the time, but it does help a lot while facing tough situations.
If you have faced such situations or have any tips regarding facing such tough situation and how you navigated through it effectively, please do drop your valuable opinion in the comment section.